So my cousin had this idea of taking me to this prequel to the Harry Potter world – Fantastic beasts and where to find them. I didn’t expect much and I’ve always not had the Harry Potter series in my top favourites list, but this was a new low. I can’t even list out all the wrongs of this movie, but I’m going to try my best from memory anyway.
This post is dark and full of spoilers, but carry on anyway if you have a strong heart.
1. The movie begins with Mr. Newt Scamander, a Britisher, passing a immigration post as he lands in New York. Later in this movie, we know that Scamander can apparate (or “teleport”) quickly from point A to point B, so I wonder why he can’t just do that with the immigration counter when he has a case full of weird magical creatures. I had an argument with my friend about this and she told me that there are rules for wizards about this. Well, when he’s already on an illegal mission…
2. Also, if every goddamn wizard in New York can apparate that easily, why couldn’t Harry, Hermoine and Ron do it decades later and Dobby the elf had to help them? Isn’t Harry supposedly one of the best wizards and Hermoine easily one of the most knowledgeable? Please don’t tell me one of the coolest things about wizardry was banned from being taught in Hogwarts while it is okay to teach students about Avara Kadavra.
3. Scamander and Jacob Kowalski (is he Polish?) have just met and he already hit Scamander on the face and took off with his creature-suitcase and Scamander chooses him to follow him down the suitcase world. Later he says that was because he liked Jacob Kowalski. Either the guy is lying or the guy is out of his mind. I wouldn’t even trust Jacob Kowalski if it were up to me. No offence, the guy is actually a likeable character halfway into the movie and does indeed make a good pair with Queenie even though he’s not in perfect shape. But sheesh, Scamander just breaks too many wizard laws.
4. Protagonist and side character accidentally swap suitcases cliché. (Hell, the cases don’t even look the same).
5. I know this is magic and all, but where in seven hells did Scamander manage to find that much space inside his suitcase? Is he Dr. Strange? What the hell. Turns out Hogwarts need just be the size of a tent or something and didn’t have to be hidden in some far away place in Scotland.
6. We later understand that Credence becomes an obscurus when he is forced to do things or is pushed around. But he doesn’t turn into an obscurus when his “mother” beats the hell out of him every day. Instead, he rampages the streets of New York for no reason at all!
7. We are told that obscuria are no longer seen in the world and led to believe Credence just an exception. Are we told why they no longer happen? If there are exceptions like Credence and the girl Scamander found in Egypt, then what happens if another exceptional magical child is not trained to deal with it earlier? According to The Sorceror’s Stone, Harry Potter was only contacted by Hogwarts when he was 11. By this age, most obscuria would have killed their hosts (not to mention that they would have rampaged their cities like Credence did).
8. Dear fantastic beasts, you cannot just choose to escape some times and not escape some times when the case is opened. How is it that niffler is always trying to escape but doesn’t do so when Scamander himself opens the case?
9. The makers of Fantastic Beasts took a page from Men in Black to obliviate members of the public (Muggles or NoMajs).
10. I can deal with making the public forget the recent events, but how do you deal with the time gap between what they were doing and the moment they get reset? Jacob Kowalski must’ve lost like two days at least. When an entire city loses several hours, it would have been noticed as a phenomenon. Someone would realize that they’ve been standing in a huge group for several hours but remember nothing. Or do you magically reconstruct everyone’s memory? Even in a magical world, I think that would require a whole lot of power.
11. How does Jacob Kowalski still remember stuff after being obliviated? Does this mean there could be other New Yorkers who remember other stuff?
12. Someone supposedly in a high authority is not what he seems to be. Sound familiar? Only every Harry Potter movie ever.
13. Wait, who is this girl on the left? I don’t recognize her from the movie. Even Queenie (right) is more memorable.
What was that? I should read the book before sinning the movie? Why the hell do you bother making a movie if your argument is to ask me to read the books anyway? Is the movie a glorified super-long trailer with a LOT of spoilers to the book Fantastic beasts and where to find them?
Yes, I realize I would be great at Cinema Sins.
Disclaimer: Any views expressed in this article are solely my own view as author and does not reflect OutFocus or its team’s view.
