“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans”
There couldn’t be more truth to this quote.
It was 7 PM on a Sunday – 31st July 2016.
I was lying relaxed on the bed in our hotel room at Madurai as the final day of urban survey was over and I was eager to get back to Ooty and start working. I got a call from my dad. I attended it coolly.
My dad was panting and screamed, “Your mom is not well, don’t go to Ooty. Come home soon!”
I immediately got up and ran to the faculties and told them the situation. They understood and called the Principal to ask if they should let me go. Finally at 7:30 I was asked to write a letter and leave. I got my stuff and ran as soon as possible giving the information to as few people as possible.
I ran to the road and tried to stop a bus to Mattuthavani bus stand. The driver gave me a dirty stare and didn’t stop. A second bus crossed by and I realized that I had to run. I raced towards a signal where the bus would’ve had to stop for the red signal. Within moments I acted on adrenaline and was on the bus and asking for a ticket.
I called dad when I reached Mattuthavani and had boarded the Tirunelveli bus. “I’ve got the bus. I’ll be there soon. How’s mom? Where are you?” I asked. “Come home,” he said, “to Kallidaikurichi.” I got a bad feeling… Why weren’t they at a hospital? What’s going on?
I was tired from the day’s work and was half asleep midway to Tirunelveli. The guy next to me woke me up, “Your phone’s ringing” he said. I picked up the call from my uncle. “Did dad say anything? Where are you?” he asked. “Yes, he said mom is not well. I’m on the way…” I replied. “Oh…” he said hesitantly, “Ok, I can’t reach your dad. Let him know I’m trying to reach.” Again a hit to my gut. Something is definitely wrong. Am I too late?
I reached Tirunelveli and hopped on a bus almost leaving towards Kallidaikurichi. Midway I got another call from dad saying the neighbour boy would pick me up. The time was 12:25 AM and my heart started racing. I reached Kallidai and within moments the boy was there. The rest of the 3 km was silent. I couldn’t hear the bike, or the wind whistling past me… I could hear my heart beating. It was 12:55 AM.
There were villagers sitting outside the door. Adrenaline pumped into my heart again. I couldn’t feel anything. I picked my courage and ran towards the open door. I raced inside and dropped the bag on my shoulder. I dropped to my knees without trying. I couldn’t stand. I couldn’t react to the reality. Tears gushed from my eyes instantly.
There she was – in an ice box, the one woman who would’ve given the world to see me live, was lying there without life. She wasn’t in a hospital because she wasn’t sick – she was dead! The reality was too much for me and suddenly I could feel a darkness surround me. My dad cried out loud for hours but I couldn’t. I just sat motionless with tears flowing down my cheeks.
While I was busy making plans for my future and how I would become a businessman and build a house like my mom always wanted, she had passed away and I wasn’t with her when it happened. Pangs of sorrow hurt me like I’ve never felt before. I was paralyzed.
Three days after it happened and her ashes were flowing with the holy Thamirabharani river, I was back In college. I had to get back to work because that’s what she would’ve wanted. Her only wish was for me to be successful. That’s all! How could a woman be so selfless till the end? I couldn’t fathom the loss I had encountered. I chose not to think of her as gone. It was the only way.
In the next few days my dad got orders for the product he was unsuccessfully trying to market the entire year; he was able to sell his jeep that he had been trying for 4-5 months; I got my results for the last sem and was an astounding success; my aunts had come together to help me and I even got some enquiries for freelance projects.
All of this happened too late. If only they had happened a week back, my mom would’ve been the happiest person I know of. But maybe this is all her doing. Maybe it is her aura that surrounds us and makes us successful.
“O Julius Caesar, thou art mighty yet!
Thy spirit walks abroad and turns our swords
In our own proper entrails.”
– Brutus.
OutFocus was dormant for the last one month. We are sorry for the absence and have decided to start publishing again. You can send in any queries to outfocus@thefeathers.in
-Editor.
