“I need some space. Give me some time. Not now.” Sound familiar? Pretty sure it does. I’m sure all of us have heard these very words every now and then, or at least once from someone that really means the world to us and wondered where everything went wrong. It could have been from a best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, sibling, husband, wife, parents or sometimes a very mentally depressed schizophrenic too, but for the sake of compartmentalization, let’s leave the schizophrenic be. As has been established by eons of human existence, it’s only natural to feel upset about something or to have a general, usually misguided conception that the world beneath our feet is shrinking. At this point in time, I’ve grown sick and tired of telling you about the poisonous atmosphere most of us have been bred in, but you get the point. Given the way we’re raised, it isn’t uncommon to feel completely lost, out of our minds, disoriented, whacked out, disinterested, disgusted, quarrelsome and frustrated at one point or the other. Let me break this down for you from the perspective of a simple Mechanical Engineering aspirant like myself. I’m in my third year, trying to figure out my purpose in life. I have in my mind, replayed the torturous scenario of going jobless, living the life of a nomad, doing things I never imagined I would or sometimes even becoming the aforementioned schizophrenic over and over again in the pea sized runt of a brain that I have. I go to college every day, look around me and helplessly roam about in hope that things will fall in place. For starters, I’m sure I am not the only one. Secondly, the mechanical engineer reference because I’m one, and of course, Mechanical, punks.
All that being said, I have people too. Friends I love, parents I adore, a family that I hold very close to my heart, and people I respect. There’s one thing that I suck at, beyond epic proportions, and that is being distant when another person is in trouble. By another person, I obviously mean a person I know and care about because let’s face it, I’m as self-centred as everyone else is. I’m satisfied as long as the people in my life stick around happy, making me happy in the end. Epically selfish, but bleh.
Everyone has rough days. Something or the other goes wrong in this otherwise flawless world on some days, and on these days we reach a whole new level of pessimism. We condescend, deflect, become satirical, hate, detest, loathe, get depressed, laugh when we must not, cry, cease to speak, zone out and what not. We crave space. We search for space. We demand space. Space that we think we don’t have, but that which exists in all its abundance. Our people however, aren’t completely in sync with our moods. If there was a machine to predict a person’s mood, trust me, I’d be the first guy to pre-order one. Anyway, our people, being the noblest of creatures that they are, always try to empathize for us, try to be there for us in times of need. But what does the Hitler of a pessimist in us do? We end up pushing away the very people we love. We get mad at them for the silliest of reasons. We misunderstand. Now we can’t really tell them what’s really going on, because our ego wouldn’t let us. So we make up cheap little excuses like guess what, “Give me some time, I need some space, Can’t talk now” and return to our self-doubting ways. We clearly know something’s wrong with the regular flow, but the obviously hurt human in us prevents us from reaching out even to the people we love.
We end up making the recipient of our neglect feel a sense of longing and they end up deciding to make us feel better, no matter what. After a while, even they start thinking “What am I doing wrong?” Honestly, you’re not doing anything wrong. The fault is with us, for not understanding that the solution to our problems has been trying to ease our burden all along, a solution we’ve simply chosen to ignore. How do we deal with this? I’m probably not the best person to be telling you this because it sounds pretty simple in theory, but can be very hard to practice, something I’ve been trying to do for a very long time now. If someone asks you for time alone, asks you for space, give it to them. Leave them be. Let them figure out where things are headed and of course, you’re obviously going to be the first person they come running to when the world seems a little brighter. If there is one constant in this world, that’s the company of a true friend, loving parents, a beautiful family and a bunch of your own people. Well these people, they’re always going to want what’s best for you and that’s what all of us have to realize. The ultimate realization lies not in throwing away all materialistic pleasures. It lies in knowing that you have people that would do anything to keep you happy. Easier said than done, but I’ll get there one day. And I’m sure you will too. Find your people, trust them, confide in them, love them. You will never be cheated.
