Ruining the world 1? at a time: My social media history

Social media is taking over the world, and I write this while checking how many likes has my latest status update got, which just goes on to show that this article is a lot like your 10th board exams, or India’s bowling. The efforts are appreciable but it’s really going to make no difference.

Around 6-7 years back, social media started exploding, at least in India. For me, this started with my friends telling me to join Orkut, which kids today know as… Oh wait! They don’t know it at all. Instead of messages, Orkut had ‘scraps’,  a word which paints a picture of serving little pieces of roti to your pet dog, or in my family, me. So everyone used to celebrate they were another person’s 500th scrapper, or 1000th scrapper, or whatever. It also had this system or trend of testimonials, or as we used to call it (and I am not joking) testis. So testimonials were people writing to me –

S- Sexy
R- Rapturous
I- Intelligent
R- Road Rash Victor
A- Ash Ketchum fan
M- Mogambo

And everyone used to do this. I have actually had people tell me “Hey send me a testi na?” Today if someone tells me that, I would probably tell them I don’t have any extras to spare.
Then, in typical school fashion, our seniors came in their ripped jeans and muscled t-shirts and earrings and tattoos (reality= school uniform) and told us that Facebook is the new cool thing, and Orkut is outdated. Then we joined Facebook, where we were introduced to a new level of time wastage. At this point, Facebook for us was a bit redundant because our life basically involved school, tuitions and coming home. And you don’t really update on FB “Watching – ICSE Physics for Class 8 by *insert generic Bengali name*”

Cut to 6 years later, where social media has invaded every aspect of our lives. Everyone is trying their best to prove to themselves and everyone else that they are leading such a cool life; while the reality can be summed up by the words friends, work and food. Whether or not you care to admit, everyone likes having likes on their pictures and updates. Although, if someone updates on FB, and people actually do, “Travelling to Bhandup with Kancha Cheena and Jalebi Bai. Feeling excited”, I don’t know whom to smirk at, the person who updates it or the person who likes it.

Social media is disturbing because it is changing people on a psychological level. Today when you to go to a beautiful place, the first reaction is to pose for pictures and pout like a bar of Cadbury Silk, rather than admire the beauty of the place. We start to think in memes rather than normal thoughts. We care more for frivolousness and social approval than is healthy for a peaceful long-term existence. The worst part is that in spite of realizing all this, my day is not over without seeing 5 pictures of cute cats, 4 pictures of friends I really don’t care about, 3 jokes on Batman, 2 pictures of Emma Watson to bring tears to my eyes, and 1 update on what Rahul Gandhi’s latest antic is. Me writing this article is like smoking while watching the “No Smoking” ad in the theatre, starring the erstwhile Mukesh, who afsos, bach na saka.

When it started out, social media was amazing because it helped people get in touch with their school and college friends, case in point being my mom, whose otherwise only connection to school was a bio journal she had with a leaf older than me stuck on a page.

In respect of reunions, Facebook and Twitter have been quite nice. They have reunited my father with rolling his eyes, my brother with a constipated expression, my friends with filters, and me with procrastination. But because girls weren’t pouting enough and creepy boys didn’t comment “Bby u so hot” enough already, Instagram was introduced. Instagram gave the world a new language, Hashtagish. It’s not that the # was not used on other websites. But Instagram made it socially acceptable to write an entire paragraph in that manner. #People #who #write #like #this #should #burn #in #InstaHell #InstaWTF #KBye. The irritating part is that when you write like that, people read it with pauses – as if each word is a separate sentence.

The advent of social media has also led to an increase in online journalism, which is a very generous term to use for these people. These websites provide journalism in the same way that escorts provide interesting conversation or pet monkeys teach you Algebra. For example, an article on Times of India’s Facebook page which garnered thousands of likes in a few minutes was “<strong>Katrina spotted with huge rock on her finger</strong>”. This immediately made me imagine Dwayne Johnson on Katrina’s finger. But stupid journalism and unethical media is a rosy topic for another happy day.

I would like to conclude by paraphrasing Christopher Nolan, also known as the man who was about to come to IIT Bombay but then saw Dhoom 3.
“Social Media is not a sign of desperation that human beings deserve. But it is the sign of desperation that they need. Because it is a watchful advertiser and like provider. A silent guardian preventing you from achieving anything in life. A dark night.”

 

By the way, since you’re on social media anyway, check us out on Facebook and Twitter! 😛

2 COMMENTS

    1. We’re sorry, Harish. It was a technical issue. I’ve fixed it now! Thanks for pointing it out 🙂 Cheers!

      – Editor.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *