Let me explain.  The education system in India is very definitive.  It begins at 40 (35 in some cases) and ends at 100.  There are two things the education system in India is utterly intent on, currency and proficiency.  If you have the currency, good school.  If you have a good school, good proficiency.  So basically, in all its simple effectiveness, currency = good school = good marks.  You can easily stop me right here and ask me why it works this way in this country, or that I’m wrong and there are exceptions and so many other things, and I agree.  There are always exceptions to things.  But in general, what I’ve said stands.  I’m sure we’re in unison.  I could also prove to you that my assumption is at least 60% authentic, but I’ll have to write a mini series of articles about the same.  Let’s just stick to the basics and do what we always do, believe in the things we read.  Indian education system for the win!

Now that we’ve established that this is the way things work in this country, let’s talk about how the recipients of March Madness feel.  These people come out of their Mothers’ wombs all prepared to face the many blessings good earth is going to bestow upon them.  Then they grow up and get put into schools.  The school teaches them, instructs them how to live their lives because there IS no alternate way of life.  I mean, how blasphemous would it be to stand out in a group of friends and do what you believe in!  I would never forgive myself.  So this phase passes, and they reach tenth grade.  The CBSE has obviously moved on from this phase in a show of progressive development and adapted a new method of evaluation, the CCE (Continuous Comprehensive Evaluation).  What does this mean?  Only one thing.  A student who usually ended up in a fierce petrificus totalus spell during the months of March and April now ends up having to take up pressure throughout the academic year.  Well done, CBSE.  And having been the first to experience everything sucky and new about the Indian Education system, my batch can vouch for everything I’ve said up until now, and probably the things I’m about to say as we move on as well.  The tenth standard boards are generally cake walk for most of us, because we’re already told what to expect in the examinations.  You pass out of that phase and you have to pick a major.  What do I do?  Do I go science?  Do I go computers?  Do I go mathematics and accounts and commerce and anything else but physics, chemistry and biology?  Or do I just sit down and cry with the rest of them?  About a year after making this choice, welcome to the world of pain that is grade twelve in India.  Day minus one of school and your parents can’t shut the hell up about the importance of this year.  Day one of school and your principal and teachers can’t shut the hell up about the importance of this year. By day three, you’re like a piece of metal held in place by a lathe chuck.  As the boards approach, more classes, more homework, more assignments, more tests, more pressure.  I remember clenching my guts and barfing all over the bathroom floor not because of my fear of examinations, but for the dreadful Lochness monster everyone made it out to be.  So, the Kraken is unleashed.  You go through a month of absolute hell at school, at home, at your tuition, in your mind, everywhere.  Then you wait for results, and that, believe me is a different kind of hell.  This is when you have to start preparing for your college entrances.  Come on, you’ve just had ONE year of pressure, here’s some more.  YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO SLIP UP AND END UP IN SOME RANDOM COLLEGE.  IT HAS TO BE IIT OR NIT OR IIM OR BITS OR ELSE YOUR LIFE IS OVER.  This is the part where I’d like to interject and throw in some advice, whether it’s being considered or not.

You’ve done your exams.  Take a breather.  Do not care for what people have to say, because we were made with tongues that cannot not roll and speak words.  Take some time to yourself, find your own peace palace, concentrate on what you love most.  Life does not end with your twelfth board exams.  Trust me when I tell you that.  I wasn’t an A-lister coming out of high school, but look at me, I’ve done quite decently for myself four years later.  Now’s the time the world really opens up to you.  Now’s the time the world is literally your mantle.  So many opportunities, so many experiences, so many clueless situations, multiple suggestions.  If you can open up your mind to these infinite possibilities, I swear to God, you will never feel sorry for having done so.  I didn’t.  I want everyone who’s reading to.  Relax a bit.  Take time to make a decision about your future, and do not let a couple of digits shape who you really are.  As I said, what is life but a million opportunities crumpled up in unrecognizable clusters?  Recognize your cluster, grab it, unwrap it and find your beacon of solace.  Be your own true self.  Peace out.

The post The March Monster appeared first on OutFocus.

However, there’s this perfectly healthy, pristine relationship that I’ve had since I was a little boy just learning to spell out words.  Reading. Books.  My relationship with books has been a constant, a pillar of support to my growth and I’m at a loss of words to describe how much the habit of reading means to me.  Reading a book makes me consolidate in my mind the fact that this world’s just not good enough for a person like me.  I’m as human as human gets, but I’ve always felt like an alien, given the kind of Utopian ideals that I’m exposed to through books.  There’s a whole bunch of people out there like me, going through an existential crisis, wishing they were just characters of a work of fiction rather than a mechanized nine to five specialized robot.  I met this friend just before Christmas Eve and he was like “Dude, who’re you taking to the New Year’s party?”  I looked up for a split second, breaking my concentration from the book I was glued to and my first reaction was “What party?”  He explained.  “Oh, I RSVP’d no to that.”  He asked me why and my answer was the same thing I tell everyone else “I don’t need a relationship to quantify my social appearances or the debauchery, because I would rather spend my time with a book than with a human person.”   Yes, I may have a problem.  Even whilst being this accepting about me having a problem, I’m confident I’ll have a lot of time for the “important things” at a later stage in life and not when I need to be thinking about what book to read next.  A million rom-coms tell me otherwise.  There are these beautifully written love stories that are made into movies every year, and for a person like me, watching rom-coms is like getting struck in the brain with a hammer.  I simply don’t get it. You’re great friends, you’re helping each other with your relationships and they’re finally happy and you suddenly have feelings for your friend and she does too but she can’t tell you because she’s already in a relationship that you helped fix and it’s all horrible until the person she’s in a relationship with realizes the fact that she’s in love with the person that helped fix their relationship and intentionally screws something up so she can be with the man she was meant to be with.  I mean, give me a break.  I have a rather healthy and stable relationship with my own habits than you have with a million people you find on tinder and Facebook.

There’s one other thing that I get from this particular friend of mine every year around New Year’s.  Now this person has been in a relationship since Gandhi said “Screw you, Great Britain.  I’m breaking up with you.”  She’s a couple of years older than I am, and she’s had this high school sweetheart kind of thing going on with this really sweet guy.  Every year, she comes up to me and asks me if I’ve found the one or something.  The answer’s the same every year – not interested.  I guess she wanted to mix things up this year.  She came up to me and said “I know how hard it is for you to feel like people accept you, treat you like a normal person.  To be honest, most people don’t get you. I know you don’t care even a little bit, but please try to understand that at some point in time, you’re going to have to force yourself to fit in.  Don’t do that to yourself.”  I kept listening, knowing where the conversation was headed. She continued “You keep telling yourself that there’s something much better written for you in your tiny, fiction filled brain.  I know you’ll do great, but please open up your mind to the frailties of society.  Be more accepting of society than it is, of you.  You can keep believing in all your mumbo jumbo, but eventually you’re going to feel completely lonely on the inside.”  I’d had enough. “Oh, please.  Stop quoting Nyx from Sense8” and I begin laughing.  She’d been made.  “You’re obsessed with books and TV shows, get a girlfriend.  Get a life!”  If a person with that much authority over my personal life can’t break me, a hundred trillion rom-coms most definitely can’t.  There’s just one big discrepancy with my theory though.  The same story in a paperback book looks so appealing to me that it makes me want to live the life of the characters in the book, makes me yearn for the perfect Hazel Grace to my Augustus Waters and all that but meh, what’s a theory without loopholes?

As long as there are amazing books, beautiful TV series, friends (F.R.I.E.N.D.S) and delicious food in the world, could I BE any blunter in asking you to not ask me of New Year’s and relationships?

The post Relationship and the New Year appeared first on OutFocus.

I’m sure most of us here agree to an extent that making mistakes pave way for success in any endeavour.  Make mistakes, don’t make blunders.  Make blunders, don’t make catastrophic blunders.  Some people (correction, most people) take this fact for granted.  Second chances have become so common, people don’t even bother thinking about doing something for the first time.  Fail an exam, “meh, I’ll pass it next time”.  Screw up a relationship, “meh, it’s my first pass, I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again”.  It’s not horrible to make mistakes, it’s horrible to use making mistakes as an alibi.  You make a mistake, own up to it and what, do the same thing again?  No, you do things a little differently, making sure you’re not making the same mistake over and over and over again.  Many people I’ve seen, loved, cared for, respected, even myself, have used this “First chance, won’t happen again” phrase too often to just let slip by.  Again, what is even the point, right?  Life is, but a learning curve.  Make a mistake, fine, but for everything that’s holy, learn from that mistake.  Learn never to make the same mistake more than once.

Let me give you a very personal example, something most of you definitely will hate.  We all love social media.  Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tinder, all sorts.  And yes, 90% of us use these applications and platforms to do a variety of things that I do not wish to list.  We can be friends, see each other’s posts, pictures, games they’re playing, people they’re seeing, almost everything.  Of course, all of this is subject to privacy settings suitable to each user.  Now I have quite an active Facebook page filled with memes and puns and baby videos and what not.  I also have friends whose walls are filled with memes and puns and baby videos and what not, and I enjoy looking at things that interest me, amuse me, intrigue me, even bewilder me.

However, there are some things I simply cannot handle, and one of those is these cute little short forms for words.  Believe me, there’s a shorter way to say ‘You’.  It’s ‘U’, because U sir, just saved 3 milliseconds by typing ‘U’ instead of ‘YOU’.  There are a million words like these.  Ryt, Nyt, n8, mrng, gud, m8, w8, lyk, and the list is never ending.  It’s a catastrophic pool of misspelt English words that make no sense at all.  I mean, what pleasure does making a short word shorter give you?  Did you make millions from the stock market by saving a few seconds in typing a word the way it was originally supposed to?  Or like Mr. Chow so genuinely asks in the Hangover part II, “Did you die?”

I can understand the reasoning behind the use of acronyms like LOL, ROFL, LMAO, LMWKD, IMO, IYKWIM, IDK, BRB, IDC, ASAP, TTYL.  These are big phrases made short so people can convey things quicker, fit for an age of texting and socializing.  Hell, I can even agree with wanna, gonna, shoulda, coulda and the like but I can, and probably never will understand how people say ‘kewl’ instead of ‘cool’ because it makes them sound cool.  I mean, both are four letters long.  Wouldn’t hurt to do it right, yes?  I find this deeply annoying and I am not the least bit coy about it.  I’ve said it a million times, and I’d do it a million times over, because it’s just who I am and I stand for what I believe in.  Yes, I believe in something as small as getting a word spelt right.  I do that, and I’m a grammar-nazi, a buzzkill, a lifeless nerd, an egomaniacal self-proclaimed Shakespeare.  Sometimes, I’m just another Indian who thinks he’s from an English-speaking country.  I have never cared for anyone’s opinion about me, but I’m just trying to help here.  I believe that it is a mistake, a heinous crime to spell words wrong on purpose.  We have autocorrect for a reason.  I’ve seen people deliberately changing the right spelling that their phones give them to the shorter, “cuter” versions.

It bugs me.   Why does it bug me?  It bugs me because I’ve grown up like that.  Books, books and only books have been the things that have kind of helped me sustain in a world that’s been cruel to me in all other ways.  I read beautiful stories every day, be a part of it, become it.  I’ve experienced the real beauty of words.  I understand that words are deeply meaningful and call me crazy, but I believe that words spelt right have an absolutely amazing aesthetic value to them, even the smallest of words, and I just hope everyone around me in my small world can experience.  All I’m doing in my mind, is trying to correct a mistake, trying to help.  So, if you’re reading this and you’re offended in any way, I’m not really sorry, I’m owning up to every word I’ve written above.

Oh, and another thing, I’m not going to change this mentality of mine for a long, long time and if I’m still too American or British for you, adios muchachos.

The post One more suggestion you’re probably going to ignore appeared first on OutFocus.

There are two kinds of people – People who plan for the future and are THAT mature from a very early stage, and people who do things that best suit their interests at that particular instant in time.  Well, I’m neither.  There’s often been scathing scrutiny about the legitimacy of my humanness, but to be honest, I really am neither.  I’m the kind of person who doesn’t care much unless it is of utmost importance.  I’m the person who plans out way ahead of time, fails to execute, ends up doing everything at the crucial moment.  One could say I’m a hybrid of the two types of people.  I’m like the Divergent in the never ending struggle of supremacy between Erudite and the rest of the world.  Being the hybrid’s always worked for me.  Always.  And I like how it works.  Always.  I know, I can be a little ruthless with my references, but Potterhead. Represent.

Anyway, in an incredible turn of events, my mother, who usually doesn’t get too personal with my day to day stuff gets up close to me and says “You’re going to finish college now.  Figure stuff out.”  This got me thinking.  Very hard.  I went into my room, locked myself in, and started doing what I always do, I picked up a book and got to reading.  Three hours of radio silence later, I ended up regretting ever having picked up that particular book.  Book review aside, I was famished.  I sat at the table across dad who was already home because I was reading and I didn’t really pay attention to the time.  So I ate.  A lot.  Like. So much.  Throughout dinner, mum was giving me signals to talk to dad about my future and what I was going to do.  I refused to, because I LIKE MY FANTASY BUBBLE.  Mum kept insisting, obviously.  This went on for a good five minutes.  Then dad slowly looked up and said “He knows what he’s doing.  Leave him be.”  That’s when I figured out many beautiful things.  One, Dad knows all.  Two, Mum worries too much.  Three, the future is a big deal.  Four, I have high hopes resting on my shoulders.  Five, food is bae.  Six, I should probably ignore five.  Seven, food is clouding my judgement, I need to get a move on.  Eight, Aaaahhhhhhhh.  Nine, finally. I need to start planning ahead.

The sun rose in all its resplendence the next day, but sadly I wasn’t awake to see it.  So at around 11 in the AM, I sat down with my laptop, a scribbling pad and a pen and began doing some research on what clichés people usually adhere to after college, and how to defy the cliché, and what I could possibly end up doing.  Hours.  This took hours.  At around four, I’d hit rock bottom.  I had no idea what I was going to do and was beginning to freak out.  Like is almost always do, I decide that a shower’s the best thing that could help.  In the shower, where my brain works at a 100% when you can’t note anything down, I have this epiphany.  I begin to think that I should continue my education, possibly in a foreign land, where there would be scope for both education and adventure.  I’m obviously intrigued by the latter, but the former also gets my brain into hyper drive.  I then begin to do some crazy research about masters programmes and courses and what not.  In a matter of hours, I’d probably spent the most productive hours of my life, ever, period.  I’m going to be doing my Masters in a course of my choice, in a university of my choice and I will be focussing a major chunk of my efforts towards achieving this target.

I learnt a few other life lessons from this traumatizing, yet fruitful experience.  One, our parents are going to put pressure on us, but they’re never going to cut the leash loose.  You’re going to have their financial and moral support till the very end.  That’s the way things work in India.  Two, no matter what happens, do not introduce your intellectually superior and philosophically sound friends to your parents.  That fat snob is the whole reason I got into this mess to begin with.  Three, you’re your greatest motivator and detective.  With no regard to the many things you hear from the outside world, there’s only going to be one idea that makes you feel complete and purposeful.  Hold on to that and never let go.  The beauty of it all is the fact that this idea will be a child borne only in your brain and none else. Four, food is bae.

The post Food for thought appeared first on OutFocus.

1. Perspective

So, we’ve established what we’re going to be talking about, passion-seeking.  I have, in my mind come up with a few points I believe might help.  So I’m thinking passion and the first thing that pops up in my mind is Perspective.  With the right perspective, there’s not the feeblest of chances that we’re going to falter in our conquest, is there?  Perspective is the golden compass that leads my Monkey D Luffy to the One piece.  It’s the same for you.  It’s the same for everyone.  For example, let’s say you walk into a class with a strong distaste for the subject and a determined “I’m not going to learn anything today” mind set.  Basically, you’re forcing yourself to not like the lecture you’re about to sit in.  Now this perspective, isn’t going to change.  Not the prettiest professor, fellow student or subject content is going to make you suddenly fall in love with the subject like you see in cheesy rom-coms these days.  However, when you pick classes that interest you, you’re at least not walking in to your own funeral from a career standpoint.  I’m not saying you’ll love this class, but you’re one step closer to finding your true passion.  It could be science, arts, engineering, medicine, sports, journalism, anything at all.  But you’re never going to find out unless you try, are you?

2. Retrospection

So you have your perspective set.  The next step’s retrospection.  Now, you’ve figured out what you’re going to be doing.  Just take a few moments to dig back into your own past.  Your experiences.  Think for a while about the many instances that you’ve tried to do what it is you’re doing right now.  Happy memories are always a strong stimulus towards achieving a focused search radius.  So you’re sketching your favourite character and you stop to think about the time in your past you used to sketch, and you recollect this amazing piece of art that your hands sketched and you’re elated and feeling a gush of positivity, don’t look back.  Do not stop.

3. Categorize

Now you’ve narrowed your interests to a select hundred out of a million possibilities.  That, my friend, is an achievement in itself.  These interests might not exactly match nor will all of them be compatible with each other.  This is when you activate your inner screens.  Try to categorize the stuff you love doing.  For example, one could put sketching and painting under the same generic header.  Now this is the hard part.  You may like drinking coffee, you may like reading, you may like surfing, you may like French toast or Ronaldo’s hairdo. Pretty disconnected, yeah?  Well, that’s precisely why I call this the hard part.  Categorize.  Categorize because your life depends on it.

4. Classify

Let’s for the sake of simplicity say you have narrowed your passion down to say five categories.  At this point in time, I ask you to classify these categories into two further categories –  Hobby and the money maker.  Well, if you’re well off and happy with what it is that you’re doing even though your career is not dependent on it, that’s a hobby.  But if you have figured that this thing that you’re doing is going to make you happy and pay the bills at the same time, it’s profitable.  If you’re going to give me the stink-eye because I’m bringing money into this conversation, be my guest.  I’m being realistic.

5. Pursue

You’re all set now.  You have your passion.  All you have to do now, is pursue it until there’s nothing left to pursue.  Be persistent.  Be confident.  Go through with your thought process.  Be at harmony with yourself.  Do it.  But don’t for even one second, think that it’s going to be easy. Expect resistance.  Expect mutiny.  Because the world’s such a nice place, everyone just loves watching others become what they want to.  There’s a 200% chance that you will have a group of people telling you what to do, telling you how you couldn’t possibly BE more wrong.   Well, my advice – haters gonna hate.  Keep doing what you have to, because it’s going to make you happy.  Live life for yourself.  Not for a group of people who have a predefined notion of success because they think they know more from their experience.  Respect a person for his/her experience, but do not submit to that person.  Take valuable input from that person, idolize him/her, but for no reason should you have a submissive attitude towards that person.

6. Keep testing

The last and final step, people, is to test yourself.  Never confine yourself to specific targets.  Always aim for the skies.  Be realistic, but don’t draw a barrier around yourself.  Always remember that you don’t have to break any barriers if there aren’t any.  Keep testing your limits.  Brave your fears.  Expect the best, be the patronus charm to your own dementors.

The post Passion Detector appeared first on OutFocus.

India is a country where you study to become either an engineer, or a doctor, or a Chartered Accountant, or a dark light on the entire family.  An engineer, engineers.  A doctor, doctors.  A chartered accountant, accounts.  Let’s look at engineering first.  You know I’m one. Yeah, I am biased.  Bite me.  Final year, and I’m freaking out, naturally.  I get to interview for companies now, for a job.  So, my friend tells me about his experience at an interview.

“What is your CGPA?”  He answers. 

“Very good.  What are your hobbies?” He talks for at least five minutes.

“Good.  What are the designing software you’re familiar with?” He names stuff I’ve never heard of before.

“Do you know computer programming?”

“Sir, I’m a Mechanical Engineer?”

“So, you can’t code because you’re a Mechanical Engineer?”

“With all due respect, I can code, but I’m obviously not as suitable to a coding job as an IT or a CSE student, Sir.”

He didn’t get the job, duh.  A company rejected a mechanical engineer because he didn’t know to write code.  I mean, he isn’t supposed to, is he?  He’s supposed to build the hardware that you code with, isn’t he?  And then I realized I needed to practice coding all over again, something I hadn’t done since high school.  And I did.  I practiced hard.  Like really hard.  Now I’m pretty sure I have a shot in any upcoming interview.  Essentially, if you expect a mechanical engineer to write computer code, aren’t you as a matter of fact, expecting the proverbial Jack of all trades?  So this friend of mine I’m talking about, he works at a big MNC now.  What does he do?  He codes.  He’s going to the United States of America next month.  To do what?  To code.  I asked him what purpose his studying Mechanical engineering for four long years served him.  He smiled and showed me the big Audi standing by his gate.  I nodded in agreement, although my heart ached a little for the dying mechanical engineer in him.  It’s not true just for an engineer.  For example, an actor isn’t just an actor anymore.  He’s expected to be a singer, dancer, comedian, entertainer apart from being just an actor.  The same extends to anything you can possibly think of.

 Does this mean that there’s a growing demand for Jacks of different trades? I can’t tell for sure, but I know for a fact that being a single minded pony isn’t going to take you far in this evil corporation that is the world.  Of course, being the very best in something is to be considered as an exception, but still, why subject yourself to so much pressure to achieve monotony while you can do a lot of things to some extent?  I could be completely wrong here, but it’s a piece of my mind that I’m giving you, and I’m going to back myself up.  That’s actually exactly what everyone should do.  Back yourselves up.  No matter how dark the world might seem, there’s always something better to look forward to.  Even in the darkest of times, there will always be something to smile about.  It’s okay to be average, but make sure you’re average at a number of things.  Focus on becoming something you’ve always wanted to become but couldn’t.  Okay, so personal story time.  I grew up not being much of an artist. I couldn’t draw a straight line with a ruler and a pencil.  People asked me to quit trying to paint or sketch.  At five years of age, it was all I ever did.  Make shabby marks on everything I could see.  Eventually, I realized for myself that the “critique” was right.  I didn’t quit painting.  I started painting words instead of objects and people.  Writing to me isn’t just a cluster of letters strung together to make a meaningful story.  To me, it’s art.  It’s the way I’ve reinvented my definition of art.  Always remember, it is never too wrong to do something for yourself no matter what the world around you tells you.  I will proudly wear the badge of an artist even though my imagination and hands don’t really adhere together to give me a beautiful picture.  I have realized that I have the ability to paint a picture in your head with the words I carve out of my imagination.  That to me, is true happiness.  The ability to paint into a person’s mind.  I thrive on the ability to manipulate a person’s mind to picture what I write.  Sounds selfish?  Of course it does.  Doesn’t mean I have to care, right?  As long as I’m not harming anyone in the process.  I don’t have to be the best at it, but it makes me happy.  And that suffices.

The essence of what I’m trying to tell you is basically that it’s okay to be average.  No one was born to excel at something.  Being born to do something is meagre propaganda to cast a spotlight on a successful person.  If you were born to be quintessential, you’re not human.  You keep learning and discovering yourselves from the mistakes you make.  Mistakes are indeed, the stepping stones to success.  If not success, the average.  An average everything is never better than a special something, but if being average in a multitude of things can make you happy, by all means, do whatever you want, however you want to.  If you’re physically unfit and you want to dance, by all means, do.  If you’re unhappy with something you’re doing, move on to something that makes you happy.  Seek happiness, not excellence.  Seek inner happiness, not external appreciation.  Live your life to the fullest, without regrets.  Realize your truth before someone dictates it for you.  Remember, it’s okay to be average.

The post Special Syndrome – Only expect the best appeared first on OutFocus.

Nearly 4.5 billion years ago, an accretion from a solar nebula spelt the beginning of something that would change the universe forever.  4.5 billion years ago, the earth was born.  Life developed.  A complexity in the cosmos, leading to this beautiful planet that is earth.  Not less than 2.5 million years ago, a creature began walking on two legs on this earth trying to discover and learn to adapt and to survive.  A million years later, the same creature that languidly walked around aimlessly, began to grow in numbers, found other similar creatures with mutual interests and marched into battle against itself, only in different shapes, sizes, colours, and features.  With knowledge comes power.  With power comes greed.  With greed comes disregard for another.  We all know what followed.  War.  Gore.  Destruction.  Slavery.  More destruction.  Resistance.  More bloodshed.  Haunting serenity.  Confusion.  Stability.  War again.

Was this what the glorious multicellular life form that is Man was created for?  War and a game of survival of the fittest?  At some point in time, somewhere long, long, long ago a seed of poison was planted in our core.  Despite all the positive characteristics that define us, it is this greed for power and superiority that drives us.

We read a lot about the technological advancements that are currently taking the world by storm, a commodity that keeps changing in the blink of an eye. As you keep reading this article, I can assure you that somewhere in this world, there is a new technological milestone that has been achieved.  Driven by curiosity, we innovate.  We create.  But then the poison begins to take effect and we begin to think “What if a person from another part of the world can make the same thing that I have, only better?”  An immoral sense of competition, a race driven world is what we see today.  A million complexities, driven by a single inexplicable complexity.  From pelting rocks to throwing spears to wielding swords to holding guns to flipping a switch, all our technology has inevitably been called forth to serve the purpose of self-preservation at the cost of another.  I get that it is basic human nature to want to survive against all odds, but should it be at the cost of another anatomically similar person’s life?  Do you ever stop to think that everything you’re using, from a simple pen to a laptop, everything’s been part of some other operation that aims at extinguishing someone else?

If God exists, and that supreme entity is the reason for our existence, was it in his/her plans to create a being so sophisticated and intelligent only to watch it burn itself?  We hear migraine-inducing speeches about humanity and humanitarian activities around the world every single day that passes, but do you have an idea of what the concept actually is?

If in an abstract way humanity means being humane and benevolent, doesn’t it also mean that human would’ve also meant something similar, given that humanity is indeed derived from the word human?  If being humane and collectively strong is the purpose of a human’s existence, do you sometimes think that something’s not right?  Where is humanity in this world of intense competition?

However, the cause isn’t entirely lost.  There are people, jewels of the species that is homo sapiens who exist among us, doing what they do, how they do it.  In a crowded train filled with passengers, you do get to occasionally notice a man with amputated legs standing up to let a soon to be mother take his seat.  You do get to see a happy non-heterosexual couple walk together, hand in hand without the fear of being called freaks of nature.  You do get to see a transvestite person not groping someone for money.  There are people who stand.  There are people who fight.  There are people who condemn this utter disregard for one’s personal choices.  There are people who fight alongside those in need.  For example, the LGBTQ has been an active part of society since the early nineties (with the generic name) but it wasn’t until a few years ago that we began to accept these people. How did it happen?  It happened because people with similar vested interests came together, made their presence felt, made a mark on society, explained and fought for their rights.

If a delicate issue such as this can be handled with effective diplomacy sans bloodshed, don’t you think a much more pressing issue like a war across borders could be solved with bureaucratic elegance?  Do you think that the world has had enough bloodshed?  Do you think the Palestinians and Israelites deserve peace?  Do you think terrorism needs to stop? Do you think Africa deserves better?  Do you think Syria needs serenity? Do you think brutal atrocities need to stop?

Then come together.  Take a stand and fight for what is right.  Remember, violence is never the solution to anything.  It is a conclave of wise, well-informed men that will always overpower an army of well-equipped soldiers because while bloodshed is a meagre roadblock, peace is a solution.  Embrace the human in you, convince the people around you to understand their true nature.  Let us all make an effort to dig out the actual human, as God intended him to be.

The post Do you? – A plea for humanity appeared first on OutFocus.

So, what are we doing here, on this tiny speck of mass in this inexplicably large cosmos?  What’s the point of everything we humans do?  First, let’s look at this from the point of view of a regular person.  So let’s leave out the Einsteins and the Hitlers and the Newtons and the Chuck Norrises.

Let’s take the perspective of a Mechanical engineer, since I’m one and I can relate quite easily with the topic.  So, I’m three years deep in this huge ocean that is engineering and it blows that it’s taken me as long as it has to realize that I’m going to be competing with millions of my own compadres.  So this is kind of the time I’m thinking “Oh shoot.  What am I doing?  Am I going to study more? (Pfft…like I’m studying now) Am I going to work?  If I’m going to work, am I going to do what I love, one which barely pays the bills or am I going to do the completely irrelevant job that’s paying more?”  I look around me, at my own friends and my brain goes haywire like “Oh man, he’s doing that.  Whoa! She’s doing that.  Oh damn, what AM I doing? Why am I not doing any of that?”  Technically, this is the point in life where I’m thinking everyone else has something more than I have to offer.  Of course, it’s probably true.  The fact that they’re doing something better than I can ever do, but the question is can they do what I can?  Well, I’m academically let’s say well off, I can engage a couple of people in a somewhat not lame conversation, I can play a couple of games, I can be appreciably sociable, I can be the kind of guy people can trust with important life events, I can write some fancy jibber jabber and a bunch of other stuff.

Ideally, I should be happy with what I have.  More than happy, actually.  But this is when my most trivial human instinct kicks in, hunger. Hunger for more.  But this hunger doesn’t present itself as an appetite of some sort or in any other positive way. It begins to make me put myself on the line of fire, makes me want to compare myself with the others around me, be it stranger or friend.  See, that’s the kind of thing that’s borderline hazardous.  But guess what, we’re humans and we tread on this line like it didn’t mean a thing.  This leads me to draw this huge chart of comparison.  I compare myself with everyone I’ve known, everyone I’ve met and probably everyone I might make an acquaintance with.  I begin treading the path of an unfathomable insanity which is probably why I’m writing this piece.  And then it begins to dawn on me.  I’m a regular kid with regular issues.  Nothing out of the ordinary, right?  If a million others can deal with the same thing in their own ways, I can figure it out too.

I manage a quite pleasing grade sheet.  I have friends.  I have people I trust.  I have people I fight with.  I have people I love.  I have people who ignore me.  I have people who love me. I read books, a lot of them.  I’m a writer (I’d like to think of myself as one, you judge.)  I write relatively cool stuff.  People read my cool stuff. Some of them even relate to it.

Ignore all the narcissism, and you can see where I’m leading you.  You have all these too.  I mean, not the exact same things, but other things.  You may be a good musician, an amazing artist, a human calculator, a brilliant strategist, even a Dalek, who knows!   That’s the beauty of life.  You never know until you do.

Personally, I’d like to think of all this as an elaborate prank by the gods, because for some reason being the subject of a celestial experiment excites me.  Or, I just read too many books.  Either ways, I’d rather be a Katniss Everdeen thrown into an eerily calm arena, sent in to eliminate competition or a nervous little kid waiting for a train on a platform that doesn’t exist in muggles’ minds, than be one of the overworked, relentless zombies looking to make a quick buck.  Do what you love, love what you do.

The post Life. What am I doing with mine? appeared first on OutFocus.

All that being said, I have people too.  Friends I love, parents I adore, a family that I hold very close to my heart, and people I respect.  There’s one thing that I suck at, beyond epic proportions, and that is being distant when another person is in trouble.  By another person, I obviously mean a person I know and care about because let’s face it, I’m as self-centred as everyone else is.  I’m satisfied as long as the people in my life stick around happy, making me happy in the end.  Epically selfish, but bleh.

Everyone has rough days.  Something or the other goes wrong in this otherwise flawless world on some days, and on these days we reach a whole new level of pessimism.  We condescend, deflect, become satirical, hate, detest, loathe, get depressed, laugh when we must not, cry, cease to speak, zone out and what not.  We crave space. We search for space.  We demand space.  Space that we think we don’t have, but that which exists in all its abundance. Our people however, aren’t completely in sync with our moods.  If there was a machine to predict a person’s mood, trust me, I’d be the first guy to pre-order one.  Anyway, our people, being the noblest of creatures that they are, always try to empathize for us, try to be there for us in times of need.  But what does the Hitler of a pessimist in us do?  We end up pushing away the very people we love.  We get mad at them for the silliest of reasons.  We misunderstand.  Now we can’t really tell them what’s really going on, because our ego wouldn’t let us.  So we make up cheap little excuses like guess what, “Give me some time, I need some space, Can’t talk now” and return to our self-doubting ways. We clearly know something’s wrong with the regular flow, but the obviously hurt human in us prevents us from reaching out even to the people we love.

We end up making the recipient of our neglect feel a sense of longing and they end up deciding to make us feel better, no matter what.  After a while, even they start thinking “What am I doing wrong?”  Honestly, you’re not doing anything wrong.  The fault is with us, for not understanding that the solution to our problems has been trying to ease our burden all along, a solution we’ve simply chosen to ignore.  How do we deal with this?  I’m probably not the best person to be telling you this because it sounds pretty simple in theory, but can be very hard to practice, something I’ve been trying to do for a very long time now.  If someone asks you for time alone, asks you for space, give it to them.  Leave them be. Let them figure out where things are headed and of course, you’re obviously going to be the first person they come running to when the world seems a little brighter.  If there is one constant in this world, that’s the company of a true friend, loving parents, a beautiful family and a bunch of your own people.  Well these people, they’re always going to want what’s best for you and that’s what all of us have to realize.  The ultimate realization lies not in throwing away all materialistic pleasures.  It lies in knowing that you have people that would do anything to keep you happy.  Easier said than done, but I’ll get there one day.  And I’m sure you will too. Find your people, trust them, confide in them, love them.  You will never be cheated.

The post Space? What am I doing wrong? appeared first on OutFocus.

When a person has a hard time figuring out what is actually going on with his life, he’s just being human.  But if the same person has trouble figuring out who he really is, he’s having an identity crisis. If he looks at the mirror in the morning and doesn’t recognize what his eyes perceive, he’s having an identity crisis.  If he thinks he cannot bridge the gap between his inner conscience and outer appearance, he’s having an identity crisis.  He doesn’t know who he really is, anymore.  He may not necessarily like the person he’s become.  He’s just another thing walking the earth with an eye for money and materialistic pleasures.  It isn’t impossible, but it’s a really tough job trying to locate people who’re in this world to actually enjoy themselves, discover their purpose on earth and take life at face value, as it comes.  An identity crisis can be particularly hard to handle, when you’re at a stage in life where you’ve to make important decisions with so many unanswered questions in mind.

Personally, I believe that all this happens because we don’t live for ourselves.  Most of us live a check list for a life.  We live our lives like it was a sequence of missions, checking boxes as we surpass checkpoints.  We live to please.  We have a behemoth of a burden resting on our shoulders psychologically.  We need to grow up, study hard, work harder, make money, get married, have kids, get them to study hard, get them married, play with our grandkids and die.  I mean, isn’t that what we’re all thinking every now and then?  Nine out of ten students getting a college education would tell you that they’re in it for the money and a secure future.  The one that says he’s in it out of sheer passion and interest, that’s the one we must strive to become. But ultimately, the right one is the one that ends up living the life of an outcast.  It is only when we realize that it was that person who did what he did because he wanted to and not because he was told to lived a successful, satisfying and peaceful life that we think back to all the things we could’ve and should’ve done.

The best thing one can do according to me, to combat an identity crisis, is getting a hold of who you really are at a very early stage in your adolescence, and never letting go.  Get to know yourself before the world can corrupt you.  Live a life that defines you, live a life you will remember.  It might be a very amateur, childish version of yourself but make sure you build on it with the experience you gather as you walk this earth.  Live in the present. Take it one step at a time. Never lose sight of the kid in the attic sitting all alone dreaming of being something only his imagination could create.  A life without regrets is one that is lived to the fullest.  Do not live by a manual.  Do not strive to become a people-pleaser.  Strive to become unique.  Identity crises will come and go, but by doing this, you’re never letting go of the person you really are.  Your inner conscience is always in the clear, and that’s what life’s all about, isn’t it?

The post Identity Crisis – Changing Times appeared first on OutFocus.