But the idea of being responsible doesn’t seem to appeal to our politicians. What does it say about a country, when 2 out of its 3 most popular politicians are subjects of national ridicule? Like Sreesanth or Bobby Deol, Rahul Gandhi has been beyond redemption for a while now. But what happened to Arvind Kejriwal? Did IITs inject their former students with some serum that kicks in two decades later? First Chetan Bhagat. Now Yo Yo Kejru Singh. Arvind Kejriwal seems to have taken upon himself to be Modi’s mother in law – criticizing him no matter what (which is really sad, because the only reason a man tolerates his mother in law is because he’s got a lovely wife. Poor Modi can’t even do that. Unless you count Amit Shah as his wife). From an Aam Aadmi from whom the nation had high hopes, Kejriwal has descended to petty politics and name calling, thus finally establishing himself as a seasoned Indian politician. All of the country’s state leaders seem to have national ambitions and thus voice their opinion on every issue in the country to increase their visibility. But they don’t seem to realize that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. The problem is that once upon a time, you need eyes, ears and a brain to have an opinion on something. Now all you need is a Facebook or Twitter account.

None of the major leaders of our states are ready to take responsibility for their states or their actions and are quite happy to blame opposition parties, neighboring states, the Prime Minister and the tooth fairy for all their problems. Then there is the face of our oldest national party, the Indian National Corruption, er I mean Congress – Rahul Gandhi. I know actual comedians who are taken more seriously than he is. The Congress is making no effort to reform itself, to be taken seriously or pose a challenge to anyone anytime soon. Also, here is an interesting fact. Karnataka is the most corrupt state in India right now. It is also the only major Congress ruled state. That’s a really fishy coincidence. The Congress was supposed to be that robber who robs you at night but lives a normal life during the day. Now there isn’t even any pretence – they rob you in broad daylight, much like Starbucks.

If I come across as a BJP fan, that’s because I’m not a fan, but I do happen to like parties that don’t loot my country. It’s just a personal choice.  I’m not a FAN of any party or politician because I happen to know the difference between cricketers and movie stars & elected representatives of the country.

Maybe our politicians need my father to lecture them on responsibility, because if you can get me to do something as boring as being responsible, Kejriwal and the rest should be a cakewalk. Or my father could spam them with phone calls and texts. (That works on me too.)

The post Who’s Responsible For Being Responsible? appeared first on OutFocus.

Ah the outset, I wish all of you a very happy Diwali, or at least I think it’s Diwali. Indian festivals are like Indian movies. They always go on longer than needed and towards the end you forget what you started with. Take Diwali for example. It isn’t just a one day festival. There is Dhanteras, Chhoti Diwali, Just-Hit-Puberty-Diwali, Going-Through-Hormonal-Changes-Diwali, Diwali itself, Bhaidooj (no that’s not the next Salman movie name), and whatever movie is releasing that Friday. In festivals in other countries (read USA) it is one day and that’s it. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween – it doesn’t work in parts and sequels, like Indian festivals or movies (Bhaidooj, in theatres near you this Diwali).

I’m happy India is this way, because who doesn’t like holidays and festivals (and most importantly, discounts on Amazon) but it is interesting to observe these peculiarities nonetheless.
Ganesh Chaturti in Maharashtra is longer than my college exams. Bombay’s Ganpati season is beautiful, majestic, artistic and the traffic during visarjan (idol immersion) makes you want to bring god to life to help you.  Unfortunately, for the last 4 years, every year I’m out of station during this period and haven’t been able to visit my friends who invite me. Now they probably think I’m atheist, or worse, rich.

Durga Pooja is a multi-day festival as well, but that’s primarily because no one can cover all those Pujo pandals in Kolkata in ONE DAY. Especially when each of them have mouthwatering egg rolls and chowmein, it better last a few days!

Technically, even Holi isn’t just one day. There is the previous day, where you’re supposed to burn wood for the Holi goddess Holika (it’s nice how many sanskaar approved days we have for air pollution). There is also the all important day after Holi, where all boys flaunt their dirty fingernails and Holi colour scars which make Jared Leto’s Joker tattoos look normal.

In the last few years, urban India has tried to celebrate Halloween, because we love copying the west, unless it is their marriage laws, gender equality or anything relevant, in which case we go the opposite way. Also, if you really want to see Indians in funny and outlandish clothes, you could just watch any 70s or 80s movie.

Navratri of course is another long festival, which gives my mother her annual opportunity to showcase all her best sarees. But it is interesting to see a festival built around the concept of going and chit chatting in your friends’ houses. I normally don’t wait for a festival to tell me to go visit my friends.

India is known to be a land of festivals, and we should be proud of that. In a world ridden with diseases, terrorism, atrocities and Donald Trump, these many festivals are a mandatory miracle. However, if you plan on bursting one of those 10000 wala or 20000 wala crackers/bombs this Diwali, please be polite enough to shoot me in the head first. Happy Diwali!!

The post India: The land of long festivals appeared first on OutFocus.

As I have found out time and again, nothing can possibly replace the fun and joy that is derived out of a good conversation. But I’m still a virgin so you should take that with a pinch of salt.

Talking to someone who can match your intellectual level, either come up to it, or come down to it, depending on whether I’m talking to Donald Trump or anyone else, has a beauty of its own. When you can relate to that someone else is talking about, or vice versa, or when you have common interests, and the way my friends and I do, completely lose your mind out of excitement and TYPE LIKE THIS ABOUT HARRY POTTER AND THE CURSED CHILD BECAUSE THE EXCITEMENT NEVER ENDS.

The art of having a good conversation probably stems from the fact that I’m a chatterbox if there ever was one. So as I keep blabbering, somewhere through the process, I started making sense.
Simple things such a good pun, a clever one-liner, a good ice breaker all provide great contentment because talking to people is something I have always loved, only rivaled at various points by Pokémon, Batman, Chandler Bing and GTA 5.

In today’s fast-paced world, conversations are becoming all the more important because the world is becoming more and more impersonal as the years go by. Small talk at parties and social events are considered par for the course. Neighbors in your building being virtual strangers is becoming increasingly common. Although if you had the kind to neighbors like I did in the last 5 years, you would probably be better off having Lord Voldemort to go and borrow milk from when you’re all out.

Conversations with my friends are one of the most important facets of my life, simply because it’s so interesting. These days we seem to have mastered the art of talking about everything without talking about anything, commonly known as Sidhu’s commentary. While this can be fun at times, especially when you’re bored out of your mind, like teens normally are, it’s much more interesting and productive if you talk about a specific topic, whatever that may be.

Convergasms is a feeling you get in your head when you have an extraordinarily good conversation. If you’re not able to understand the meaning, comparison or reference, you’re too young to be reading this article. Chhota Bheem is playing on Pogo right now. Go.

As I have mentioned, in such an Era of ever busy people and politeness and courtesy(often fake), small talk is as common as a meme on your Facebook newsfeed. I don’t have a problem with a small talk. That’s how conversations start. It’s natural. You can’t start a conversation with a stranger with the words “I will slaughter anyone who doesn’t like Percy Jackson and serve the remains as an offering to Ares.”

That kind of dialogue is more of a hundredth date material, or when you’re sure there are no cops nearby.

The problem is that so many conversations today end at small talk. If you don’t want to talk to the other person, because of lack of time, interest or because the other person thinks the poster of Sultan is not photoshopped.

But more often than not, people don’t know to take a conversation forward. Beyond saying “Ikr” to half the things in the world, today’s generation, and I know this is a wide categorization, seems to be losing out on the ability to have a good, solid conversation consistently. Our parents and their generation did not have this problem because they didn’t have as many distractions and entertainment avenues, what have you. For them, conversations, with anyone – family, friends, acquaintances, was the bedrock of existence, I would imagine. Playing video games, watching TV shows until you can’t distinguish it from real life, and acting like typical moody teens with a pout and a “this sucks” attitude for everything, wasn’t an option for them. And they were lucky that way. Not that that is going to stop me from immersing myself in Fifa 16, but just saying. Many from my generation are incapable of a decent conversation sometimes due to lack of general knowledge or interest and often because they simply do not have enough practice.

In that respect, I am happy to report that inspite of having a plethora of video games, novels, gadgets and other things that would absolve me of human contact, a lot of my best memories are the conversations with my family. At the lunch table (also known as breakfast and dinner table),  at a restaurant, at a resort, in the car – many a time, the conversations the 4 of us have had have been so hilarious, outrageous and somber in equal measures, etching them in my memory and perhaps theirs too, for the years to come.

In conclusion, I would say that the same applies to my friends. Whether it be in person or via WhatsApp or Facebook, a lot of the conversations I have had are such incredible fun and yet so many of them have been fascinating for the topics on which we discuss, debate and deliberate and if that gets too heavy, laugh over that time when I walked in the ladies queue, or when my best friend fell splat into water that smelled like fish at a railway station and how said friend managed to reach college after that.

The post Convergasms: The perks of a good conversation appeared first on OutFocus.

In life, expectations are a dicey thing. They are the root cause of half the problems in the world, and yet continue to be an integral part of human personality because our creator had a twisted sense of humour. The premise of expectation is a lingering sense of optimism, curiosity and disappointment. In theory, if you do not expect anything from anyone, you will never be disappointed. For example, write an exam, and without any thought how the exam went, just forget about it. Or if you’re hell bent upon doing a SWOT analysis, assume that you’re failing. If you flunk, life goes on. If you pass, you’re over the moon because you didn’t expect such a good result.

The same principle, in theory, can be applied to any aspect of life. Take friendship for example.

Everyone has expectations of their friends, and the better friends you are, the more you expect. It may be about understanding you, empathizing, or anything else, which is what friendship is about anyway. But if you didn’t have these expectations, these benchmarks, of your friends, that would eliminate all chances of a quarrel, or distancing yourself, because in such a situation, you literally accept people for what they are and nothing more, and vice versa, I would presume. Thus, there would be no friction, and a steady definition of what things are and what things aren’t.>

Practically, all of this may be absolute rubbish. How can you live without expectations? How can you live without any belief about the future whatsoever? Doesn’t that absolve life of all purpose? One could even argue that expectations are the fabric of meaningful existence. But since they create so many problems and solve none, that makes the scenario all the more tricky.
To find a balance between not expecting anything at all and having some expectation from everything and everyone, the best idea is to narrow down the list of those people who will always live up to expectations of those things that will never disappoint.

This would keep a person within the realm of expectations, while at the same time, expecting nothing out of anyone or anything else, thus freeing us up mentally of emotionally. Expectations should be a privilege, not par for the course. Hence, the crux is to have expectations only when you are absolutely certain that they will be lived up to. However, having that amount of certainty beforehand is virtually impossible, because it is all relative. People, things, expectations, are all relative to time, place, context, methods and completely subject to change in one or more factors.

In such a case, estimation and reasoning seem to be the only ways to reach a suitable conclusion. Your individual assessment of people and things, the trust you choose to place in them and ironically, your expectation, will lead you to create a ‘list’ of ‘fool-proof expectations’.

Why do all this in the first place? We are living, and decently enough, aren’t we? So why bring such a change? For me, personally, disappointment is extremely hard to get over. Disappointment of any kind. For me, Batman versus Superman not being good enough, a friend cancelling a meeting, failing an exam and not being able to like up to parents’ expectations all constitute a high level of misery, among a million others.

This is the only solution I could devise and I figure that it is impossible for me to be the only one with this problem. On a closing note, I should read that novel by Dickens better than I did last time. I think it’s called Great Expectations.

The post What Not to Expect When You’re Not Expecting appeared first on OutFocus.

The truth is that, in a global context, India is amazing today. The World over, everyone is admitting it. China is becoming the sidekick who keeps trying to get the center stage but keeps falling down by the wayside, or as Bachchan family calls it, Abhishek. Not only are we doing well, we are slated to do even better.

Around 20 years back, studying abroad was a big deal. Irrespective of what course you pursued, if you said that your kid is studying outside India, it was a fair assumption that the boy would fetch a dowry of at least Subrata Roy’s hidden assets while if a girl did the same… she would be able to cook international cuisine. That’s all you want, right? (#FIRisComing)

Today, things are a little different. A degree from a good foreign university is definitely valuable, but the blind assumption that if your neighbor’s child is studying at the US, then he/she must be busy becoming the CEO of Apple, is a bit farfetched. Today, more students are going to study abroad not because they are too good to study in India. It is because they weren’t able to get a seat in the Indian college of their choice. Hence, studying at Richardson Superman University  instead of Sahani Babli University isn’t any much better. The inherent assumption that if you’re studying abroad, you must be very bright, is like assuming that whenever two people fight, whoever cries is right. But before my friends abroad decide to never talk to me again, it must be known that there are lots of good foreign degrees. The only thing is that India has just as good ones in certain fields. Hence, it is purely a matter of your priorities, your wealth and how many white people you want to be surrounded by.

But those who do go abroad go study, say Australia or USA or UK or Russia or Canada, it does have its own merits which have nothing to do with the job you land…

1. Irrespective of how good the college is academically, the campus will resemble Hogwarts.

2. You don’t have to worry about load shedding. So you can watch Game of Thrones without doing mental math.

3. You get to meet people of different nationalities, different cultures, and different backgrounds, which is much better than “I’m from Thane. He’s from Ghatkopar. She’s from Andheri. Cool. Unity in ‘diversity’.

4. Everyone in and around you, your friends, classmates, professors, seniors, guest faculty, neighbors, gardener, bar owner, are all so good looking, they can make a career out of it. Every guy looks 20% Zac Efron (I’m given to understand girls dig that?) and every girl looks 20% Emma Watson (Yes. Guys do dig that).

5. You truly understand the value of money. In a positive and negative way. Everyone loves saying that money is not everything, but whoever says that, says that only after accumulating a lot of it.

6. If you’re dark skinned, chances are that you are one of the few, in which case, you can always accuse everyone around you of racism. “Hey, the coffee is for 5 dollars and I paid him 3.50. He’s not letting me go just because I am dark!”

7. WiFi. Actually, this should be reason number one. Unlike in India, here you don’t struggle for a WiFi connection, raising your phone to the sky for stronger a stronger network, like the iconic scene in Lion King where Rafiki the baboon raises Simba towards the sky, trying to connect Simba to the jungle WiFi.

The post It’s White and Foreign So It Must Be Amazing appeared first on OutFocus.

Around 6-7 years back, social media started exploding, at least in India. For me, this started with my friends telling me to join Orkut, which kids today know as… Oh wait! They don’t know it at all. Instead of messages, Orkut had ‘scraps’,  a word which paints a picture of serving little pieces of roti to your pet dog, or in my family, me. So everyone used to celebrate they were another person’s 500th scrapper, or 1000th scrapper, or whatever. It also had this system or trend of testimonials, or as we used to call it (and I am not joking) testis. So testimonials were people writing to me –

S- Sexy
R- Rapturous
I- Intelligent
R- Road Rash Victor
A- Ash Ketchum fan
M- Mogambo

And everyone used to do this. I have actually had people tell me “Hey send me a testi na?” Today if someone tells me that, I would probably tell them I don’t have any extras to spare.
Then, in typical school fashion, our seniors came in their ripped jeans and muscled t-shirts and earrings and tattoos (reality= school uniform) and told us that Facebook is the new cool thing, and Orkut is outdated. Then we joined Facebook, where we were introduced to a new level of time wastage. At this point, Facebook for us was a bit redundant because our life basically involved school, tuitions and coming home. And you don’t really update on FB “Watching – ICSE Physics for Class 8 by *insert generic Bengali name*”

Cut to 6 years later, where social media has invaded every aspect of our lives. Everyone is trying their best to prove to themselves and everyone else that they are leading such a cool life; while the reality can be summed up by the words friends, work and food. Whether or not you care to admit, everyone likes having likes on their pictures and updates. Although, if someone updates on FB, and people actually do, “Travelling to Bhandup with Kancha Cheena and Jalebi Bai. Feeling excited”, I don’t know whom to smirk at, the person who updates it or the person who likes it.

Social media is disturbing because it is changing people on a psychological level. Today when you to go to a beautiful place, the first reaction is to pose for pictures and pout like a bar of Cadbury Silk, rather than admire the beauty of the place. We start to think in memes rather than normal thoughts. We care more for frivolousness and social approval than is healthy for a peaceful long-term existence. The worst part is that in spite of realizing all this, my day is not over without seeing 5 pictures of cute cats, 4 pictures of friends I really don’t care about, 3 jokes on Batman, 2 pictures of Emma Watson to bring tears to my eyes, and 1 update on what Rahul Gandhi’s latest antic is. Me writing this article is like smoking while watching the “No Smoking” ad in the theatre, starring the erstwhile Mukesh, who afsos, bach na saka.

When it started out, social media was amazing because it helped people get in touch with their school and college friends, case in point being my mom, whose otherwise only connection to school was a bio journal she had with a leaf older than me stuck on a page.

In respect of reunions, Facebook and Twitter have been quite nice. They have reunited my father with rolling his eyes, my brother with a constipated expression, my friends with filters, and me with procrastination. But because girls weren’t pouting enough and creepy boys didn’t comment “Bby u so hot” enough already, Instagram was introduced. Instagram gave the world a new language, Hashtagish. It’s not that the # was not used on other websites. But Instagram made it socially acceptable to write an entire paragraph in that manner. #People #who #write #like #this #should #burn #in #InstaHell #InstaWTF #KBye. The irritating part is that when you write like that, people read it with pauses – as if each word is a separate sentence.

The advent of social media has also led to an increase in online journalism, which is a very generous term to use for these people. These websites provide journalism in the same way that escorts provide interesting conversation or pet monkeys teach you Algebra. For example, an article on Times of India’s Facebook page which garnered thousands of likes in a few minutes was “<strong>Katrina spotted with huge rock on her finger</strong>”. This immediately made me imagine Dwayne Johnson on Katrina’s finger. But stupid journalism and unethical media is a rosy topic for another happy day.

I would like to conclude by paraphrasing Christopher Nolan, also known as the man who was about to come to IIT Bombay but then saw Dhoom 3.
“Social Media is not a sign of desperation that human beings deserve. But it is the sign of desperation that they need. Because it is a watchful advertiser and like provider. A silent guardian preventing you from achieving anything in life. A dark night.”

By the way, since you’re on social media anyway, check us out on Facebook and Twitter!

The post Ruining the world 1? at a time: My social media history appeared first on OutFocus.

But now I have suddenly become popular because New Year’s Eve is approaching. Which also magically means that New Year is approaching. So I have started receiving messages like the following
“The year is ending. Please tell me what do you really think of me”.  How do the two sentences have any relation? You might as well send “Star Wars is amazing. The cut off at IIT Bombay is no social life.” Why does someone suddenly need to know my humble and honest opinion of them just because the year is ending? Are they dying? Or am I? Then there are these messages that say “Blue means you like me. Red means you love me. Orange means you want to friend zone me. Purple means you want me to die. Green means you want to have eco friendly babies. What colour am I to you? Reply me first”

Now who decides this colour coding? Is there an International Insecurity  Colour Index For Jobless People? Come January 1st, and people who never ever talk to you, and to whom you extend the same courtesy, will wish you a very happy and prosperous new year from them and their family, their ancestors and Yakub Memon, because even bomb blast convicts are very caring that way. Messages have all these amazing decorations, creative fonts and emojis used only once a year. There has got to be a WhatsApp University where all this is taught. I refuse to believe that people in India actually exude that level of creativity by themselves and yet Durjoy Dutta is the bestselling author in this country. Although, WhatsApp University must be a lot of fun. “This semester we will be covering last seen. But your internal examination syllabus won’t have the blue tick, so skip that.”

One of the most popular new year trends, is of course the new year resolution. The New Year Resolution. Because on January 1st, you get magical powers to stop being a laid back potato and become the CEO of Unrealistichopes.org. We humans are experts at deluding ourselves. On 4th January at 6 am we will realize that this resolution nonsense is not working and we will resolve to try again next year, mainly because for the next 361 days, you can chill the hell out of life like you always have. I am proud to report that I have resolved, in various years, to wake up early, to tease my brother less, to study more, and even more proud to report that I followed up on all of them, albeit for different reasons. The first and the third solved themselves because I chose to do CA. The second one worked out because my brother hit puberty. Really hard. So I’m excusing him on that count. This year my resolution is to not have any resolutions, which sadly sounds like a Salman dialogue, but is true.

Then, of course, there are the much coveted New Year’s Eve parties, which can roughly be translated to “I sweat 3 kilos this time. You?” That’s just how crowded all of these parties are. Since the author hails from Mumbai, which is as spacious as action movies obey the laws of physics. Some of the bigger parties feature prominent guests, such as that actress who acted alongside a star a decade ago, and that singer who sounds exactly like another singer, but didn’t get famous.

My complex has a congregation of people who jump up and down to the latest chart busters and brain melters and shout and scream every other minute amidst sweating more than a coal miner. The reason why I used that particular description is because calling it a party would be a little too ambitious. The arrangement is extremely uncomfortable, the crowd fluctuating between unfashionable, drunk, fashionable, and hungry, not necessarily in that order. The food is stale, and conversations are redundant as they are drowned out by music whose tune is annoyingly good and lyrics, mind blowingly bad. Then again, those who listen to party tracks for the lyrics are the same people who think every South Indian speaks like Deepika Padukone in Chennai Express and people who watch football because the green grass is very nice to watch.

At this new year ‘party’, I also meet my friends from school, which is a mixed bag. The upside is that I get to meet some people whom I genuinely like talking to, and the downside is that such people are 1 in 5. When the other 4 approach, I have to dance in such a way that I move away silently, which is difficult because dancing and subtlety are two things I am very bad at. I also meet people with whom I would have liked to stay in touch, but couldn’t because of complicated reasons like laziness and forgetfulness.

What I would really like to know is, how many people actually want to party that night, and how many do it just out of societal pressure. Societal pressure. Wow, I made partying sound like arranged marriage. No wonder the author is not a party animal.

But enough of all this nonsense, because the author is going to Goa to bring the New Year, which is such a radical idea and is not at all mainstream.

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Written by Sriram  Mani, intern.

The post That rare thing that happens only once a year… appeared first on OutFocus.